anybody will share the triumph with you, but it takes a real friend to share the tragedy. Jesus, we just weep with you and share in good and bad with you! He feels what you feel, he's with you when you can't sleep, He shares in our humanity. - T.D. Jakes.
waiting, weeping, winning! (today's message on daystar tv. from Bishop T.D. Jakes)
Jesus shares with us in all we face. Our priest who enables us to weep.
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning! This too shall pass, God didn't bring me this far to leave me, there is a breakdown coming down the road! Victory is mine! I told satan to get thee behind me! Victory today is mine! If God started it, he's able to finish it!
I'm through crying about that! Give God the praise...we are done weeping about that! I'm getting ready to switch, God's about to turn my mourning into dancing. The garment of praise...I'm gonna reach up and snatch me some joy!
If you were in the waiting stage, and you served God, then when you were in the weeping stage...you still worshiped, it only makes sense to serve him in the winning stage!!! Don't stop till you come out, till you come over, till you get through!
When He got through weeping, He stepped out and did His King thing. He stepped out of it and released a decree. He didn't go into the tomb to get Lazarus, He just sent his word in there! Touch somebody and tell them your coming out on the WORD! Speak the Word! No weapon formed against you will be able to prosper! God's gonna speak a word over your finances, over your house...God's gonna speak a word!
Tell your fears...the king is coming! Tell your bills...the king is coming!
Friday, December 9, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
take me
Oh Lord, take me to that secret place, where I can be with you, you can make me like you! Wrap me in your arms! Sometimes everything seems so overwhelming Lord! My heart has been troubled and heavy these past few weeks Lord. I honestly can't see what the future holds. There's a lot riding on everything and I wish I knew what was going to happen, but this is where I have to rely on you, know that you have the world in the palm of you hands, know that whatever is ahead that you know about it, and you will take care of me, even if it's painful, even if it hurts now, I know I will learn something and come out of this stronger than before, and closer to you than before. I love you Lord, I love you so much. Thank you for all you are to me, for your love for me, for everything Father.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
A different kind of pain
(from my morning devotions)
5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Thank you Father God for coming to us, for reaching out to us, for loving us.
You are stretching me Lord. At times, I feel like I may break, I feel like it's all too much. I've been here before Lord, I think we all have, but at least for me, this time is different. I know that you have me in the palm of your hand Father God. I feel like this is truly being put through the refiners fire. This is the test that separates people who say they know you, and people who actually know you. This is where all the impurities are being burned away; where this is no room left to hide, everything is on the table with you. Will I trust you in the pain, the uncertainty, the hurt, the worry, the strife? At times I feel so lost and confused, and in those times one thing remains the same...YOU. You are always there for me Lord. I see this as a test, as a time to define myself in you. I won't give up Lord, and I'm clinging to you with all I am! In the past I would sit down and languish in this Lord, I would refuse to move and become so absorbed in myself and my problems. But again, this time is different Lord, I can see you taking things away, moving things, all to make a way for your grand plan. I asked for this Lord, and you are giving me what I asked for. I'm not sure I anticipated it being this painful, but You know best oh Lord, you are the one that I love and adore, and no matter what I face I know you are with me Lord and you will make a way.
As the above verses mention, everyday Lord, I'm learning what it means to remain on the vine, to seek you as my only means of survival. You are teaching me everyday, growing me to see what matters in this life. It's not money, cars, houses, clothes, vacations and etc, but rather it's people, your people, your beloved. The ones who are hurting, the ones that are lost. These are who your hearts break for, these are the ones that you want us to look beyond ourselves and see.
Please Lord, continue to make me stronger to face the challenges that are ahead. Please help me to find all I need in you and to only seek you for all I need. Continue to break me Lord, as painful as it is, and make me into what you have called me to be. Give me the mind to see this pain in light of eternity, to give up myself to you and to lose my life to you, for I know in that O Lord, I will find it again.
5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.
The World Hates the Disciples
18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20 Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’[b] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21 They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me. 22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. 23 Whoever hates me hates my Father as well. 24 If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25 But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’[c]The Work of the Holy Spirit
26 “When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father—the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father—he will testify about me. 27 And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Thank you Father God for coming to us, for reaching out to us, for loving us.
You are stretching me Lord. At times, I feel like I may break, I feel like it's all too much. I've been here before Lord, I think we all have, but at least for me, this time is different. I know that you have me in the palm of your hand Father God. I feel like this is truly being put through the refiners fire. This is the test that separates people who say they know you, and people who actually know you. This is where all the impurities are being burned away; where this is no room left to hide, everything is on the table with you. Will I trust you in the pain, the uncertainty, the hurt, the worry, the strife? At times I feel so lost and confused, and in those times one thing remains the same...YOU. You are always there for me Lord. I see this as a test, as a time to define myself in you. I won't give up Lord, and I'm clinging to you with all I am! In the past I would sit down and languish in this Lord, I would refuse to move and become so absorbed in myself and my problems. But again, this time is different Lord, I can see you taking things away, moving things, all to make a way for your grand plan. I asked for this Lord, and you are giving me what I asked for. I'm not sure I anticipated it being this painful, but You know best oh Lord, you are the one that I love and adore, and no matter what I face I know you are with me Lord and you will make a way.
As the above verses mention, everyday Lord, I'm learning what it means to remain on the vine, to seek you as my only means of survival. You are teaching me everyday, growing me to see what matters in this life. It's not money, cars, houses, clothes, vacations and etc, but rather it's people, your people, your beloved. The ones who are hurting, the ones that are lost. These are who your hearts break for, these are the ones that you want us to look beyond ourselves and see.
Please Lord, continue to make me stronger to face the challenges that are ahead. Please help me to find all I need in you and to only seek you for all I need. Continue to break me Lord, as painful as it is, and make me into what you have called me to be. Give me the mind to see this pain in light of eternity, to give up myself to you and to lose my life to you, for I know in that O Lord, I will find it again.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Understanding
It's funny, when I was a child, I thought that God was love. That's it. Nothing more. No more complications, no more add on's, just love. I also was more honest as a child. I loved and people loved me back. Not everyone was nice, and maybe I'd cry if they didn't like me, but I sure didn't dwell on it; in fact, usually the next day I'd be off playing with my friends and the deeds of the day before were far removed from my mind. I usually only remembered the good things of my childhood and days gone by. The bad things ( which seem significantly less that the good) didn't really stick the way the good ones did.
My mom apologizes to me all the time for something she did when I was little. I tell her over and over, I don't remember it, but what I do remember is being picked up from school one day, and instead of going the usual way home, we turned south and drove for about 2 1/2 hours. My questions of where are we going we met with, it's a surprise. When the car stopped, we were at Sanibel Island, and mom and dad let us run into the ocean in our school clothes as we squealed with delight to learn this was a vacation, and we'd be at the beach for several days! Moments like that are what I remember :)
I was encouraging a friend about his bible reading ( or lack thereof) and I could tell he felt slightly condemned. I received these words to encourage him and build him up. I told him that God wasn't mad, or upset, God wasn't angry about his lack of reading...God just missed him, and wanted that special time with him. It made me think that sometimes as a grown up, I tack on all these things to God now. I have to read my bible, I have to go to church, I have to do this and this. But, that's stuff that I put on it. That's how in my adulthood, I tack on all these things and I made God to be something that he's not. He doesn't change, he's never changed, I try to change him. I was reminded that God loves me. That's it. He loves me. He doesn't love me if and when I do this and this...he just loves me. And just like me as a child, remembering the good and fun times, When I repent, and run to my Father God, fall at His feet and drown in His ocean of grace time and time again, He doesn't see me running as the girl that did this sin and that sin, but rather, He looks at His beloved daughter coming to Him again and again! How amazing and refreshing to know this and to live in this!
During my morning bible reading time ( and I have ALWAYS struggled with this, but lately, it's been easier, and I want to do it) and I've been learning SO much. Things I've always heard a little about or knew a little about, are now brought into clear revelation, shining light on so much! Thank you God for deepening my wanting for you, for your words, for your knowledge, for your love letter and instructions to me.
Thank you God for being love, for never giving up on me, for always being there for me. Please Lord, continue to grow me, show me new things, help me to fall in love with you all over again, and to always remember your goodness, your faithfulness, and to remember who I am in YOU and in you alone! May I be like the child I once was, and throw off the hurtful things, the things that don't matter, and may I live in the simplicity of love and your holy love.
Your never too far, you've never done too much. God's waiting, He misses you. Go to Him, don't waste anymore time :)
My mom apologizes to me all the time for something she did when I was little. I tell her over and over, I don't remember it, but what I do remember is being picked up from school one day, and instead of going the usual way home, we turned south and drove for about 2 1/2 hours. My questions of where are we going we met with, it's a surprise. When the car stopped, we were at Sanibel Island, and mom and dad let us run into the ocean in our school clothes as we squealed with delight to learn this was a vacation, and we'd be at the beach for several days! Moments like that are what I remember :)
I was encouraging a friend about his bible reading ( or lack thereof) and I could tell he felt slightly condemned. I received these words to encourage him and build him up. I told him that God wasn't mad, or upset, God wasn't angry about his lack of reading...God just missed him, and wanted that special time with him. It made me think that sometimes as a grown up, I tack on all these things to God now. I have to read my bible, I have to go to church, I have to do this and this. But, that's stuff that I put on it. That's how in my adulthood, I tack on all these things and I made God to be something that he's not. He doesn't change, he's never changed, I try to change him. I was reminded that God loves me. That's it. He loves me. He doesn't love me if and when I do this and this...he just loves me. And just like me as a child, remembering the good and fun times, When I repent, and run to my Father God, fall at His feet and drown in His ocean of grace time and time again, He doesn't see me running as the girl that did this sin and that sin, but rather, He looks at His beloved daughter coming to Him again and again! How amazing and refreshing to know this and to live in this!
During my morning bible reading time ( and I have ALWAYS struggled with this, but lately, it's been easier, and I want to do it) and I've been learning SO much. Things I've always heard a little about or knew a little about, are now brought into clear revelation, shining light on so much! Thank you God for deepening my wanting for you, for your words, for your knowledge, for your love letter and instructions to me.
Thank you God for being love, for never giving up on me, for always being there for me. Please Lord, continue to grow me, show me new things, help me to fall in love with you all over again, and to always remember your goodness, your faithfulness, and to remember who I am in YOU and in you alone! May I be like the child I once was, and throw off the hurtful things, the things that don't matter, and may I live in the simplicity of love and your holy love.
Your never too far, you've never done too much. God's waiting, He misses you. Go to Him, don't waste anymore time :)
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Cheer
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain
Good Morning All!
Today, I felt like writing :) I felt like someone needed to know that God loves you, And I'm not talking about a love that you are probably thinking about. This is a true love, a deep love, a love that you can't earn; a love you don't deserve, but it's yours and mine, it's everyone's! Many of us don't live our daily lives in light of this love. Most of us slough off the depth and the richness that is ours. We'd rather sit in our safe little sandboxes and have a dab of God's love filter through the trees and shine on us here and there...Oh if only we'd step outside our little safe sandboxes and run into the holy, wild field of God! If only we would let His love and light fall fully upon us, if only we could release ourselves from the looks of those still in their sandboxes and dance with our Father God!
The people that we look up to and admire as great people of the faith, they left their boxes, and forged a path straight to the heart of God. They didn't look back, they didn't look around to see others scoffing and mocking them, but rather, they had their eyes fixes solely upon their Father God.
Hebrews 12:1-2
. . .Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith . . .
Dear Friends, this time is precious. We are called to be a holy nation, set apart. The harvest is ripe, but the workers are few! Are you living your life with intentional purpose today? Are you following after the things of God? Or the things of your own heart. Nothing you could want, achieve, earn or think you deserve is as great as the purpose and the life that Christ has called you to. If you can't hear him, go find him. It's not Christ that moved, but rather you.
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:13
May we live each day with purpose. May we stop playing games with our faith and our God. Our time is now! No more waiting, no more whining, no more excuses. You are a beloved child of God! He's waiting for you to return to him, he's ready to throw you a party. He's got work for you to do, work that only you can do. You're needed, you're called.
When I look outside myself, look outside my sandbox, I see His other children...hurting, crying, needing a friend. I want to be His love and His comfort to them. May we all seek to love others and to serve others. This isn't just another Wednesday, this is your day, your time. The things you do and say today can have an impact for the good or the bad, maybe even the indifferent, on those you encounter today. What if today is your last chance to touch a friend, to help save a life, to show someone Christ? Will you squander that chance? Knowingly or unknowingly, these times are there. Will you look around today, ask God to show you where you can be a blessing? Will you live your life with purpose today? Or will you just keep rocking along in your own little sandbox thinking of all your problems and all the reasons you can't?
More than likely, we can all name a person that stepped outside of their box, a person that took the time to look beyond themselves and extend the love of Christ to us. Don't keep that to yourself and deny someone else the gift you once received. Be that person to someone in need. May God soften our hearts, may He renew our passion for him and his people, May our lives be more than our desires! I'm looking unto you today Lord. Please change my thoughts, change my heart. Show me the way that you have for me. Make me more like you, give me a servants heart, give me an attitude of praise and gratitude. Help me see all those around me and show me where I can be of service for you. Take away my selfish desires and fix my eyes upon you Father God, only unto you.
I love you all, if your reading this...thank you! If you need prayer or anything else...let me know :) Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone else!
P.S. If you're reading this, you have probably at some point, shown Christ's love to me, and I thank you for that gift, that blessing! xoxoxoxox
Good Morning All!
Today, I felt like writing :) I felt like someone needed to know that God loves you, And I'm not talking about a love that you are probably thinking about. This is a true love, a deep love, a love that you can't earn; a love you don't deserve, but it's yours and mine, it's everyone's! Many of us don't live our daily lives in light of this love. Most of us slough off the depth and the richness that is ours. We'd rather sit in our safe little sandboxes and have a dab of God's love filter through the trees and shine on us here and there...Oh if only we'd step outside our little safe sandboxes and run into the holy, wild field of God! If only we would let His love and light fall fully upon us, if only we could release ourselves from the looks of those still in their sandboxes and dance with our Father God!
The people that we look up to and admire as great people of the faith, they left their boxes, and forged a path straight to the heart of God. They didn't look back, they didn't look around to see others scoffing and mocking them, but rather, they had their eyes fixes solely upon their Father God.
Hebrews 12:1-2
. . .Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith . . .
Dear Friends, this time is precious. We are called to be a holy nation, set apart. The harvest is ripe, but the workers are few! Are you living your life with intentional purpose today? Are you following after the things of God? Or the things of your own heart. Nothing you could want, achieve, earn or think you deserve is as great as the purpose and the life that Christ has called you to. If you can't hear him, go find him. It's not Christ that moved, but rather you.
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:13
May we live each day with purpose. May we stop playing games with our faith and our God. Our time is now! No more waiting, no more whining, no more excuses. You are a beloved child of God! He's waiting for you to return to him, he's ready to throw you a party. He's got work for you to do, work that only you can do. You're needed, you're called.
When I look outside myself, look outside my sandbox, I see His other children...hurting, crying, needing a friend. I want to be His love and His comfort to them. May we all seek to love others and to serve others. This isn't just another Wednesday, this is your day, your time. The things you do and say today can have an impact for the good or the bad, maybe even the indifferent, on those you encounter today. What if today is your last chance to touch a friend, to help save a life, to show someone Christ? Will you squander that chance? Knowingly or unknowingly, these times are there. Will you look around today, ask God to show you where you can be a blessing? Will you live your life with purpose today? Or will you just keep rocking along in your own little sandbox thinking of all your problems and all the reasons you can't?
More than likely, we can all name a person that stepped outside of their box, a person that took the time to look beyond themselves and extend the love of Christ to us. Don't keep that to yourself and deny someone else the gift you once received. Be that person to someone in need. May God soften our hearts, may He renew our passion for him and his people, May our lives be more than our desires! I'm looking unto you today Lord. Please change my thoughts, change my heart. Show me the way that you have for me. Make me more like you, give me a servants heart, give me an attitude of praise and gratitude. Help me see all those around me and show me where I can be of service for you. Take away my selfish desires and fix my eyes upon you Father God, only unto you.
I love you all, if your reading this...thank you! If you need prayer or anything else...let me know :) Be blessed today and be a blessing to someone else!
P.S. If you're reading this, you have probably at some point, shown Christ's love to me, and I thank you for that gift, that blessing! xoxoxoxox
Friday, May 27, 2011
Reposted from Desiring God.org and C.S. Lewis
C. S. Lewis writes about the problem of forgiveness:
. . . you must make every effort to kill every taste of resentment in your own heart—every wish to humiliate or hurt him or to pay him out. The difference between this situation and the one in such you are asking God’s forgiveness is this. In our own case we accept excuses too easily; in other people’s we do not accept them easily enough.C. S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
As regards my own sin it is a safe bet (though not a certainty) that the excuses are not really so good as I think; as regards other men’s sins against me it is a safe bet (though not a certainty) that the excuses are better than I think. One must therefore begin by attending to everything which may show that the other man was not so much to blame as we thought.
But even if he is absolutely fully to blame we still have to forgive him; and even if ninety-nine percent of his apparent guilt can be explained away by really good excuses, the problem of forgiveness begins with the one percent guilt which is left over. To excuse what can really produce good excuses is not Christian character; it is only fairness. To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
This is hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single great injury. But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life—to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son—how can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night ‘forgive our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.’ We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it is to refuse God’s mercy for ourselves. There is no hint of exceptions and God means what He says.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
An encouragement.
This morning, I decided to read ahead in my Streams in the Desert devotional...and I am glad I did! This story below is EXACTLY what I feel God has given to me for a ministry idea. To help others know that they aren't struggling alone, to share our stories, to encourage and love one another! This got me so excited...I had to share it :) Thank you Lord for reinvigorating your vision and helping along the way!!! I see your hand through it all and I will follow you!
Eternal Glory Struggles
"I endure all things for the sake of God's own people; so that they also may obtain salvation...and with it eternal glory" (2 Tim. 2:10, Weymouth).
If Job could have known as he sat there in the ashes, bruising his heart on this problem of Providence--that in the trouble that had come upon him he was doing what one man may do to work out the problem for the world, he might again have taken courage. No man lives to himself. Job's life is but your life and mine written in larger text....So, then, though we may not know what trials wait on any of us, we can believe that, as the days in which Job wrestled with his dark maladies are the only days that make him worth remembrance, and but for which his name had never been written in the book of life, so the days through which we struggle, finding no way, but never losing the light, will be the most significant we are called to live. --Robert Collyer
Who does not know that our most sorrowful days have been amongst our best? When the face is wreathed in smiles and we trip lightly over meadows bespangled with spring flowers, the heart is often running to waste.
The soul which is always blithe and gay misses the deepest life. It has its reward, and it is satisfied to its measure, though that measure is a very scanty one. But the heart is dwarfed; and the nature, which is capable of the highest heights, the deepest depths, is undeveloped; and life presently burns down to its socket without having known the resonance of the deepest chords of joy.
"Blessed are they that mourn." Stars shine brightest in the long dark night of winter. The gentians show their fairest bloom amid almost inaccessible heights of snow and ice.
God's promises seem to wait for the pressure of pain to trample out their richest juice as in a wine-press. Only those who have sorrowed know how tender is the "Man of Sorrows." --Selected
Thou hast but little sunshine, but thy long glooms are wisely appointed thee; for perhaps a stretch of summer weather would have made thee as a parched land and barren wilderness. Thy Lord knows best, and He has the clouds and the sun at His disposal. --Selected
"It is a gray day." "Yes, but dinna ye see the patch of blue?" --Scotch Shoemaker
Eternal Glory Struggles
"I endure all things for the sake of God's own people; so that they also may obtain salvation...and with it eternal glory" (2 Tim. 2:10, Weymouth).
If Job could have known as he sat there in the ashes, bruising his heart on this problem of Providence--that in the trouble that had come upon him he was doing what one man may do to work out the problem for the world, he might again have taken courage. No man lives to himself. Job's life is but your life and mine written in larger text....So, then, though we may not know what trials wait on any of us, we can believe that, as the days in which Job wrestled with his dark maladies are the only days that make him worth remembrance, and but for which his name had never been written in the book of life, so the days through which we struggle, finding no way, but never losing the light, will be the most significant we are called to live. --Robert Collyer
Who does not know that our most sorrowful days have been amongst our best? When the face is wreathed in smiles and we trip lightly over meadows bespangled with spring flowers, the heart is often running to waste.
The soul which is always blithe and gay misses the deepest life. It has its reward, and it is satisfied to its measure, though that measure is a very scanty one. But the heart is dwarfed; and the nature, which is capable of the highest heights, the deepest depths, is undeveloped; and life presently burns down to its socket without having known the resonance of the deepest chords of joy.
"Blessed are they that mourn." Stars shine brightest in the long dark night of winter. The gentians show their fairest bloom amid almost inaccessible heights of snow and ice.
God's promises seem to wait for the pressure of pain to trample out their richest juice as in a wine-press. Only those who have sorrowed know how tender is the "Man of Sorrows." --Selected
Thou hast but little sunshine, but thy long glooms are wisely appointed thee; for perhaps a stretch of summer weather would have made thee as a parched land and barren wilderness. Thy Lord knows best, and He has the clouds and the sun at His disposal. --Selected
"It is a gray day." "Yes, but dinna ye see the patch of blue?" --Scotch Shoemaker
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Praying
Hello All!
So, lately, I've been dreaming a lot. It's always the same dream; and pretty much the same things happen. It's a ministry dream. It's a life dream. It's scary to think about these things as becoming a reality. What would it practically mean? how would that work out? I don't have all these answers yet, but I know in the past when I had these questions, God provided, and worked miracles to make things happen.
I believe that God is doing the same now. Do I have a long way to go? YES! But, I'm not going to give up! I know it's going to be work, I know it will take moving out of my comfort zone, I know it will take faith and sacrifices, but I know that it's what my heart longs for.
I know that this ministry is needed, I know that there are lost and hurting people out there. I also know that there are Christians that are discouraged and need this ministry too! I know that this ministry is bigger than me, and God's pretty much just calling me to be the orchestrator. I'll need help, I'll need partners, I'll need prayer warriors! I pray that you would take some time to seek the Lord and ask if maybe you can help somehow. If you feel like you'd like some more information on what this is all about, please message me, email me, etc.
I love you all and I know that God has called us to go forth into the world and to share His good news! Let's not waste another day! Let's lavish this world with His love!
So, lately, I've been dreaming a lot. It's always the same dream; and pretty much the same things happen. It's a ministry dream. It's a life dream. It's scary to think about these things as becoming a reality. What would it practically mean? how would that work out? I don't have all these answers yet, but I know in the past when I had these questions, God provided, and worked miracles to make things happen.
I believe that God is doing the same now. Do I have a long way to go? YES! But, I'm not going to give up! I know it's going to be work, I know it will take moving out of my comfort zone, I know it will take faith and sacrifices, but I know that it's what my heart longs for.
I know that this ministry is needed, I know that there are lost and hurting people out there. I also know that there are Christians that are discouraged and need this ministry too! I know that this ministry is bigger than me, and God's pretty much just calling me to be the orchestrator. I'll need help, I'll need partners, I'll need prayer warriors! I pray that you would take some time to seek the Lord and ask if maybe you can help somehow. If you feel like you'd like some more information on what this is all about, please message me, email me, etc.
I love you all and I know that God has called us to go forth into the world and to share His good news! Let's not waste another day! Let's lavish this world with His love!
Monday, April 25, 2011
truly, madly, deeply
This weekend, God used a tragedy in someone else's life, to touch my own life, to renew my spirit, to remind me what he's called me to be in this world.
I am called to love. To help others in their burdens, to lift up, to encourage, to pray, to challenge, to inspire, to share in His love! I had forgotten that. Sometimes it's easy to let yourself get lost in this world; to allow your dreams to die; to slough off the greatness that you are destined for.
I see a lost, hurting world. I know that I will never find true happiness until I accept who I am in Christ, until I turn my talents and gifts that he's given me, into a work for Him. It's easy to stay where you are, to not accept the call of Christ. To push it back one more day, one more day. But there are those around you...who may not have one more day; you may not have one more day.
In our world and in our culture, hopes and dreams can often become getting by and settling. Instead of fully relying on Christ to make us into what only he can, we cut him and his magnificent power off, and rely only on ourselves and what we can do ( which is nothing, but through Christ...all things are possible!)
Today, I want to renew my mission in this life, I want to yell out to the nations, Speak Lord, for your servant listens. I want to change this world for the cause of Christ, I want to stop wasting time, I want to start changing lives, I want to live a life that's fully devoted and committed to the things of Christ! No turning back!
I pray friends that God will speak to us, that He will awake that call in your life, that you will open your hearts to His still small voice that is calling out to you! Be His hands, Be his feet. People all around us are dying and crying out! They are begging you to listen to God and to share your story with them! Will you hear them? Will you see them? Will you look beyond yourself, beyond what you want and open your eyes and your heart to what God wants?
Oh the vastness of the dreams and the love that God has for us, and yet, dear ones, rarely do we tap into that. Rarely do we avail ourselves to His calling, to the power and love that He is offering to us. We are not of this world, but we often get stuck in this world and merely survive in this world! We are called to so much more!
If you don't know your calling, get alone with God, pray, ask, and seek Him! The bible promises that when we seek Him, we shall find Him! Look at what talents you have, look at what you are passionate about, look at what angers you in a holy way and what you can do to change it or make others suffer less! Start doing something!
I pray today, that we will clear our minds and our hearts, look beyond our wants and our dreams, and look to what God has for us. To see what we can do. Every journey begins with one step! May you face your fears, may you embrace the power of God that is awaiting you! I love you all, and I pray that God will move our hearts, purify our motives, enrich our faith and may we draw near to His throne and begin to live in the richness and the fullness of Him!
If you need anything, prayer or etc...please message me!
I am called to love. To help others in their burdens, to lift up, to encourage, to pray, to challenge, to inspire, to share in His love! I had forgotten that. Sometimes it's easy to let yourself get lost in this world; to allow your dreams to die; to slough off the greatness that you are destined for.
I see a lost, hurting world. I know that I will never find true happiness until I accept who I am in Christ, until I turn my talents and gifts that he's given me, into a work for Him. It's easy to stay where you are, to not accept the call of Christ. To push it back one more day, one more day. But there are those around you...who may not have one more day; you may not have one more day.
In our world and in our culture, hopes and dreams can often become getting by and settling. Instead of fully relying on Christ to make us into what only he can, we cut him and his magnificent power off, and rely only on ourselves and what we can do ( which is nothing, but through Christ...all things are possible!)
Today, I want to renew my mission in this life, I want to yell out to the nations, Speak Lord, for your servant listens. I want to change this world for the cause of Christ, I want to stop wasting time, I want to start changing lives, I want to live a life that's fully devoted and committed to the things of Christ! No turning back!
I pray friends that God will speak to us, that He will awake that call in your life, that you will open your hearts to His still small voice that is calling out to you! Be His hands, Be his feet. People all around us are dying and crying out! They are begging you to listen to God and to share your story with them! Will you hear them? Will you see them? Will you look beyond yourself, beyond what you want and open your eyes and your heart to what God wants?
Oh the vastness of the dreams and the love that God has for us, and yet, dear ones, rarely do we tap into that. Rarely do we avail ourselves to His calling, to the power and love that He is offering to us. We are not of this world, but we often get stuck in this world and merely survive in this world! We are called to so much more!
If you don't know your calling, get alone with God, pray, ask, and seek Him! The bible promises that when we seek Him, we shall find Him! Look at what talents you have, look at what you are passionate about, look at what angers you in a holy way and what you can do to change it or make others suffer less! Start doing something!
I pray today, that we will clear our minds and our hearts, look beyond our wants and our dreams, and look to what God has for us. To see what we can do. Every journey begins with one step! May you face your fears, may you embrace the power of God that is awaiting you! I love you all, and I pray that God will move our hearts, purify our motives, enrich our faith and may we draw near to His throne and begin to live in the richness and the fullness of Him!
If you need anything, prayer or etc...please message me!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
do you?
In light of all the recent natural disasters, I have had many people ask me "Do you think the world is going to end next year?" I find it amazing, that there are so many movies, books and etc based on the notion that 2012 will be the end of the world, but not just that, the fact that the reason we will know it is the end of the world, is marked with such aforementioned calamities ( which are clearly discussed in the Bible). I am always amazed at how the world rejects God, but bases so many things on the Bible and on Godly things; only to twist and turn them and take God out of them.
That also made me think that most people, whether saved believing christians or not, do believe that the world will end one day. When I stop to think about it, two things come to mind. #1. is a sense of urgency, an acknowledgment that there isn't much time. The hour is coming, the harvest if full, but the workers are few! #2. is a sense of relief and comfort. To know that we will be reunited w/ our Lord and Savior. To know that we will be called home to live in eternal glory with our Father God, doesn't scare me, it inspires and excites me!
Today, I want to remind us to pray for those around us who's lives we can touch. To reach out to those lost, hurting souls that need a savior! You don't have all the time in the world, and today could be the day that God can use you to lead them to salvation, to help them have a relationship with Jesus Christ! Also, pray for Japan and the devastating loss they have suffered, pray for healing and strength for their nation. Pray for Libya and the Muslim community and the un rest in the Middle East, I could go on and on! There are so many lost, hurting people, and we usually don't even think of them, don't ever pray for them.
I pray that God will open our hearts, open our minds, and help us to look outside of ourselves. To look to others, to see those God has placed in our lives and on our hearts, and to reach out to them, to love them, and to pray for them.
May you all be blessed today, May you have the courage and strength from the Lord to reach out to His beloved people, to be Jesus with skin on, to share His love and His light.
That also made me think that most people, whether saved believing christians or not, do believe that the world will end one day. When I stop to think about it, two things come to mind. #1. is a sense of urgency, an acknowledgment that there isn't much time. The hour is coming, the harvest if full, but the workers are few! #2. is a sense of relief and comfort. To know that we will be reunited w/ our Lord and Savior. To know that we will be called home to live in eternal glory with our Father God, doesn't scare me, it inspires and excites me!
Today, I want to remind us to pray for those around us who's lives we can touch. To reach out to those lost, hurting souls that need a savior! You don't have all the time in the world, and today could be the day that God can use you to lead them to salvation, to help them have a relationship with Jesus Christ! Also, pray for Japan and the devastating loss they have suffered, pray for healing and strength for their nation. Pray for Libya and the Muslim community and the un rest in the Middle East, I could go on and on! There are so many lost, hurting people, and we usually don't even think of them, don't ever pray for them.
I pray that God will open our hearts, open our minds, and help us to look outside of ourselves. To look to others, to see those God has placed in our lives and on our hearts, and to reach out to them, to love them, and to pray for them.
May you all be blessed today, May you have the courage and strength from the Lord to reach out to His beloved people, to be Jesus with skin on, to share His love and His light.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Memories
Do you remember what you were worrying about this time a year ago? No? On the other hand, do you remember that awesome night you hung out with friends and talked about God and really shared and listened to each other? Of course!
Can any of you add a single hour to your life by worrying? Matthew 6:27
Lately, I know that I"ve been worrying about a lot of things. Silly things that I can't change or do anything about, things that wont' matter a year from now, a month from now, and even if they did, there's nothing that "worrying" would do about it to help it. So why do I sap myself of the joy of today, why do I take away all the blessings and promise of today?
Jesus promised me life and life more abundantly! Today, accept the promise of Christ! Live in His light and in His word! Be blessed today. Take all your worries, all you cares, and offer them unto Jesus. Let Him take on the burdens and you will then be free to love others, to bless others, to speak life and joy into others. Take the focus off of yourself and focus on Christ!
Go make a memory today! Don't wait...we aren't promised tomorrow! Live today like it's your last :)
Can any of you add a single hour to your life by worrying? Matthew 6:27
Lately, I know that I"ve been worrying about a lot of things. Silly things that I can't change or do anything about, things that wont' matter a year from now, a month from now, and even if they did, there's nothing that "worrying" would do about it to help it. So why do I sap myself of the joy of today, why do I take away all the blessings and promise of today?
Jesus promised me life and life more abundantly! Today, accept the promise of Christ! Live in His light and in His word! Be blessed today. Take all your worries, all you cares, and offer them unto Jesus. Let Him take on the burdens and you will then be free to love others, to bless others, to speak life and joy into others. Take the focus off of yourself and focus on Christ!
Go make a memory today! Don't wait...we aren't promised tomorrow! Live today like it's your last :)
Saturday, March 12, 2011
I want
Psalm 97:11-12 - "Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart. Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous, and praise his holy name."
Isaiah 35:10 - "And the ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away."
Isaiah 55:12 - "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands."
John 16:22 - "So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy."
Today, I was thinking...what is it that I want? I want to finish school, I want to help people, I want to be successful, I want...and then it hit me...this is all what "I" want...which is fine...but are these really what I want? Why do I want these things? And like a ton of bricks it hit me...I want to be like Jesus. When it's all I, I, I...I lose track of what matters. I focus on me, I lose sight of what's important. What I really want, is to be like Jesus. Why do I want to finish school? Why do I want to help people? Why so I want to be successful? If I just want these things to better myself or to glorify myself...I will fail every time. But...if I can see my life in Him and through Him. See my purposes through His purposes, I will succeed, I will be all I want and more...when I'm like Jesus.
Don't forget that you are made in the image of your Father God. Don't get caught up in this world, for it's passing and fleeting, and all these things will fade away, but the things of God will stand forever.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Unto you
God's really been speaking to me lately, usually at the strangest of times. I was recently telling a friend about some of the dreams and visions that God's been laying upon my heart. I told her how some of these things sounds so big, so out there...that I can't even fathom ever doing them. She reminded me that is how God works, He gives us these crazy big dreams, and leaves it up to us to trust Him, let Him work it out, and leaves it to us to step out in faith and believe that He can and will do it.
I was reading about the Israelites crossing the Jordan and instead of being at it's usual 100 feet wide...it was at flood stage and over 1 mile wide! But...God gave the command and Joshua told the priests to take the Ark of the Covenant first and begin to walk into the river!
and when those who carried the ark came into the Jordan, and the feet of the priests carrying the ark were dipped in the edge of the water (for the Jordan overflows all its banks all the days of harvest), 16the waters which were flowing down from above stood and rose up in one heap, a great distance away at Adam, the city that is beside Zarethan; and those which were flowing down toward the sea of the Arabah, the Salt Sea, were completely cut off. So the people crossed opposite Jericho. 17And the priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD stood firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan while all Israel crossed on dry ground, until all the nation had finished crossing the Jordan.~ Joshua 3:15-17
How many times had God called upon us to do something radical, something that doesn't make sense, something that seems impossible? I pray that we may trust God today, that we may lose ourselves in Him, for He is the only one that matters! I pray that God will call upon us again, and that we may answer, Yes Lord, and go do the impossible through Him!
I remembered this song today...and I can't stop listening to it. Thought I'd share. Love you all.
I was reading about the Israelites crossing the Jordan and instead of being at it's usual 100 feet wide...it was at flood stage and over 1 mile wide! But...God gave the command and Joshua told the priests to take the Ark of the Covenant first and begin to walk into the river!
and when those who carried the ark came into the Jordan, and the feet of the priests carrying the ark were dipped in the edge of the water (for the Jordan overflows all its banks all the days of harvest), 16the waters which were flowing down from above stood and rose up in one heap, a great distance away at Adam, the city that is beside Zarethan; and those which were flowing down toward the sea of the Arabah, the Salt Sea, were completely cut off. So the people crossed opposite Jericho. 17And the priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD stood firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan while all Israel crossed on dry ground, until all the nation had finished crossing the Jordan.~ Joshua 3:15-17
How many times had God called upon us to do something radical, something that doesn't make sense, something that seems impossible? I pray that we may trust God today, that we may lose ourselves in Him, for He is the only one that matters! I pray that God will call upon us again, and that we may answer, Yes Lord, and go do the impossible through Him!
I remembered this song today...and I can't stop listening to it. Thought I'd share. Love you all.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
What is it all for?
I found this Rob Bell video. Love him or hate him, he presents some good thoughts.
I know we can all get so busy, so wrapped up in all we're doing, that we can have our hands full and not have enough room to accept anything from God. Today, open your heart, ask the Lord to reveal to you if you are too busy, have too much going on, and how He can help you to let go and be open to receive the things He has for you. Let's focus on what really matters, what really counts. It's all about Him!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Why worry?
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. ~Leo Buscaglia
If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today. ~E. Joseph Cossman
Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere. ~Glenn Turner
Worry. We all do it. But why? Has anyone ever solved anything by worrying? I think not. Usually, we just cause ourselves stress, anxiety and ruin any possibility of a good day...by worrying. Worry makes us focus on ourselves, worry bogs us down and puts blinders on us, worry makes us take our eyes off our Father God and try to make things happen ourselves.
I know it's hard to do, but I want you just imagine putting all your worries, your troubles and etc into a box. This box is in your hands. Now, I want you to close the lid, with all your worries inside, and give the box to the Lord. When I get overwhelmed, I imagine myself doing this, and instantly, I feel the peace of the Lord rushing in and replacing all the worry!
It's not always easy, it doesn't always make sense, but when we stop running around trying to fix everything, and we give up and rest in Him, then He can save us, He can make miracles work, and He can be glorified through the miracles he does.
Today, turn all that stuff over to God. Free yourself of it, and trust God to deliver you from it! Rejoice in today, for this is the day that the LORD has made!!!
Love you all!
If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today. ~E. Joseph Cossman
Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere. ~Glenn Turner
Worry. We all do it. But why? Has anyone ever solved anything by worrying? I think not. Usually, we just cause ourselves stress, anxiety and ruin any possibility of a good day...by worrying. Worry makes us focus on ourselves, worry bogs us down and puts blinders on us, worry makes us take our eyes off our Father God and try to make things happen ourselves.
I know it's hard to do, but I want you just imagine putting all your worries, your troubles and etc into a box. This box is in your hands. Now, I want you to close the lid, with all your worries inside, and give the box to the Lord. When I get overwhelmed, I imagine myself doing this, and instantly, I feel the peace of the Lord rushing in and replacing all the worry!
It's not always easy, it doesn't always make sense, but when we stop running around trying to fix everything, and we give up and rest in Him, then He can save us, He can make miracles work, and He can be glorified through the miracles he does.
Today, turn all that stuff over to God. Free yourself of it, and trust God to deliver you from it! Rejoice in today, for this is the day that the LORD has made!!!
Love you all!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The Love
Everyday you teach me that love is not black and white. Love doesn't
have limits like that. It can't be held back and restricted in that
manner. You taught me how to trust myself, how to trust others. You
showed me what it really means to love, and not only love you...but to
love all that God has created...and most importantly, you taught me how
to love God.
This life is a vapor, fleeting and temporary. What you do today, will impact your tomorrow.
Be Like Christ
1 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any
consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any
affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete by being of the same
mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one
purpose. 3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with
humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for
the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was
also in Christ Jesus, ~ Phil 2:1-5
Do you want to waste more time? Do you know what a difference you make?
Either you make a good difference, or you make a negative difference. I
think if we really stopped to consider the impact of our actions, we
would see that we have some choices to make.
There's someone out there...someone that only you can touch, someone
that needs you. You might not think it, you might not know it, but God
has placed them there for you to touch. I think we all need to look
outside ourselves, really look and see where God has placed you.
Someone needs you, needs the love of Christ...will you be the one to
share it? Or will you selfishly walk away, and leave someone's soul
dangling in the balance. You can say this is reading too much into
things, you can run from your responsibilities, but they won't go away.
When you lose your life, you'll gain it. I don't want to waste time
anymore. I don't want to see the bad, the ugly, and the evil...I want
to live loved, forgiven and redeemed. I want to help others see that
they have the same promises too! All I know is that I should. May we
all accept our roles, embrace them, and share His love.
Some of you don't know the difference you make, or the difference you
have made in my life. Maybe that's the beauty of it. It's so simple,
something you shouldn't do for the "rewards" or "merits" of it, but you
do simply because it's in your heart's desire to do so. You'd do it if
no one ever knew you did it. It's not the "Look at me" factor of it,
but simply, wanting to do what's right. For those of you who have loved
me and helped me...thank you. Your quiet love and guidance has meant
all the difference. Stay strong and be encouraged...you are thought of
often, and loved beyond measure. May goodness and love follow you all
your life, and may we all do the work of the Father, to Him be the
praise, the glory and the honor, for now and forever more!
have limits like that. It can't be held back and restricted in that
manner. You taught me how to trust myself, how to trust others. You
showed me what it really means to love, and not only love you...but to
love all that God has created...and most importantly, you taught me how
to love God.
This life is a vapor, fleeting and temporary. What you do today, will impact your tomorrow.
Be Like Christ
1 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any
consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any
affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete by being of the same
mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one
purpose. 3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with
humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for
the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was
also in Christ Jesus, ~ Phil 2:1-5
Do you want to waste more time? Do you know what a difference you make?
Either you make a good difference, or you make a negative difference. I
think if we really stopped to consider the impact of our actions, we
would see that we have some choices to make.
There's someone out there...someone that only you can touch, someone
that needs you. You might not think it, you might not know it, but God
has placed them there for you to touch. I think we all need to look
outside ourselves, really look and see where God has placed you.
Someone needs you, needs the love of Christ...will you be the one to
share it? Or will you selfishly walk away, and leave someone's soul
dangling in the balance. You can say this is reading too much into
things, you can run from your responsibilities, but they won't go away.
When you lose your life, you'll gain it. I don't want to waste time
anymore. I don't want to see the bad, the ugly, and the evil...I want
to live loved, forgiven and redeemed. I want to help others see that
they have the same promises too! All I know is that I should. May we
all accept our roles, embrace them, and share His love.
Some of you don't know the difference you make, or the difference you
have made in my life. Maybe that's the beauty of it. It's so simple,
something you shouldn't do for the "rewards" or "merits" of it, but you
do simply because it's in your heart's desire to do so. You'd do it if
no one ever knew you did it. It's not the "Look at me" factor of it,
but simply, wanting to do what's right. For those of you who have loved
me and helped me...thank you. Your quiet love and guidance has meant
all the difference. Stay strong and be encouraged...you are thought of
often, and loved beyond measure. May goodness and love follow you all
your life, and may we all do the work of the Father, to Him be the
praise, the glory and the honor, for now and forever more!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Stand firm in what God has called out in you.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking so other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some; it’s in all, everyone. And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. - Nelson Mandela
I was reminded about this quote today. This quote spoke to me a few years back when I first came across it. God really used it to teach me that I am His princess. I am His delight. I can't make Him love me anymore than He already does. Nothing I can change, nothing I can fix, nothing...can make the Almighty God of heaven more in love with me. I have the fullness of His love right now. Moreover, when I stand firm in who I am in Him, then I can shine for Him, and others will see this light, this love, this goodness that fills me because I am fulfilled in Him. God didn't call me to be a wall flower or a shrinking violet. He called me to be His beloved and to share His love with this world.
Tonight, I pray that we may open our eyes, look around, and see those who are in need. May we stand in God as His beloved and see what He sees.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Loving you.
If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. ~Johann von Goethe
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland
How much time and effort do we spend...trying to be someone else, something else? I know that answer for me...was A LOT! I didn't know that the sin of comparrison was something I was guilty of, but eventually I allowed myself to stop lying to myself and see that I was committing this terribly detrimental sin.
I would compare myself to other people on every level imaginable. Why can't I sing like her, why can't I not be overweight and pretty like her. Why can't I be smart like him? Why can't I have faith like her? Why can't I have biblical knowledge and pray like he does? On and on and on...I tormented myself by comparing myself to others. I couldn't accept that God had made me this way. I was a failure *or so I told myself. I wasn't good enough. I had to work at having friends and making myself what you wanted me to be. I no longer allowed myself to rest in the grace of God and in the beauty of His almighty and infinite creation. I removed him from my life and just focused on making myself what I thought He wanted me to be and what others wanted me to be.
Several people had to look me in the eye and tell me that I was spitting in God's face and calling Him a liar. What? was my reaction. What do you mean? I'm giving me all to make myself what He wants! Then they turned my twisted logic back into reality...I can't make myself into something because I"m not God, and He already made me just how He wanted me, where He wanted me. This wasn't an easy revelation to allow into my heart. For a long time I let it come in one ear and out the other. I didn't allow it to sink in, to settle down and to change me. The enemy had me convinced that God loved everyone, anyone...but not me. I had messed up one too many times, I had crossed the line more than I was allowed. Apparently, in my head, I ran back to the throne of grace asking for forgiveness for the same things one too many times. He was done with me, He was over it, and He was over me.
When I finally came to God and asked for forgiveness for my sin of comparission, he opened my heart and my mind and showed me that He had created me, and He doesn't make mistakes. I was His beloved, just the way I was! He had dreams and hopes for me, He has people and places that only I could talk to and go to. He healed my heart and showed me that I didn't need to compare myself to others. The only person I needed to look to for love and acceptance was Him!
It's amazing to rest in His love and grace and to accept yourself as the person He made you to be. I didn't realize it till later, but I was also praying, seeking and searching for a man to complete me. I wanted a husband so badly, I wanted to know love and to be loved back. I thought I was a half and I needed my other half. It wasn't until I allowed myself to be a whole, a whole person resting in God's love, that He brought me my other whole person. Mike didn't change me or complete me, but instead, God gave him to me, so we can help each other further become who Christ has called us to be.
Men, I can't speak 100% for you because I'm a girl, but I am sure some of you do this also, maybe not in such high number as girls...but I"m sure you do at some level.
Today, if you are struggling with this, know that you can't fix yourself and your never going to be "that person" that you want to be. Rest in God's grace and love, and know that you are His perfect creation. Stop trying to make yourself what you think you want or what you think God wants. You are His beloved. My joy has been restored since I learned to rest in who I am in Christ. Find yourself in Him, and only look to Him when you are wondering who you are.
Praying everyone has a blessed day!
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland
How much time and effort do we spend...trying to be someone else, something else? I know that answer for me...was A LOT! I didn't know that the sin of comparrison was something I was guilty of, but eventually I allowed myself to stop lying to myself and see that I was committing this terribly detrimental sin.
I would compare myself to other people on every level imaginable. Why can't I sing like her, why can't I not be overweight and pretty like her. Why can't I be smart like him? Why can't I have faith like her? Why can't I have biblical knowledge and pray like he does? On and on and on...I tormented myself by comparing myself to others. I couldn't accept that God had made me this way. I was a failure *or so I told myself. I wasn't good enough. I had to work at having friends and making myself what you wanted me to be. I no longer allowed myself to rest in the grace of God and in the beauty of His almighty and infinite creation. I removed him from my life and just focused on making myself what I thought He wanted me to be and what others wanted me to be.
Several people had to look me in the eye and tell me that I was spitting in God's face and calling Him a liar. What? was my reaction. What do you mean? I'm giving me all to make myself what He wants! Then they turned my twisted logic back into reality...I can't make myself into something because I"m not God, and He already made me just how He wanted me, where He wanted me. This wasn't an easy revelation to allow into my heart. For a long time I let it come in one ear and out the other. I didn't allow it to sink in, to settle down and to change me. The enemy had me convinced that God loved everyone, anyone...but not me. I had messed up one too many times, I had crossed the line more than I was allowed. Apparently, in my head, I ran back to the throne of grace asking for forgiveness for the same things one too many times. He was done with me, He was over it, and He was over me.
When I finally came to God and asked for forgiveness for my sin of comparission, he opened my heart and my mind and showed me that He had created me, and He doesn't make mistakes. I was His beloved, just the way I was! He had dreams and hopes for me, He has people and places that only I could talk to and go to. He healed my heart and showed me that I didn't need to compare myself to others. The only person I needed to look to for love and acceptance was Him!
It's amazing to rest in His love and grace and to accept yourself as the person He made you to be. I didn't realize it till later, but I was also praying, seeking and searching for a man to complete me. I wanted a husband so badly, I wanted to know love and to be loved back. I thought I was a half and I needed my other half. It wasn't until I allowed myself to be a whole, a whole person resting in God's love, that He brought me my other whole person. Mike didn't change me or complete me, but instead, God gave him to me, so we can help each other further become who Christ has called us to be.
Men, I can't speak 100% for you because I'm a girl, but I am sure some of you do this also, maybe not in such high number as girls...but I"m sure you do at some level.
Today, if you are struggling with this, know that you can't fix yourself and your never going to be "that person" that you want to be. Rest in God's grace and love, and know that you are His perfect creation. Stop trying to make yourself what you think you want or what you think God wants. You are His beloved. My joy has been restored since I learned to rest in who I am in Christ. Find yourself in Him, and only look to Him when you are wondering who you are.
Praying everyone has a blessed day!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I am Yours!
So often, it's easy to look at things and remember them differently or get discouraged about how things have turned out. Sometimes it can be over something silly, sometimes something life changing. I thank God for His faithfulness and for His hand on my life.
One story that keeps me in check, keeps me knowing that God has me where he wants me and will make a way, is the story about how I bought my house. Now, I know some might think that that's silly, but our God love us and cares for us in ALL things, big and small, and this is an absolute God situation. I was looking for a house and nothing was in my price range. This was when the market was WAY over inflated ( although I didn't know that) and finally a house came available that my friend was looking at, but decided to pass on, so she told me about it. I went and looked at it, and it was the cutest house I had ever seen, and better yet...I could afford it. She was asking a certain amount, but it needed some work, so I was going to go low on the offer and then a number popped out of my mouth that was much higher that I thought I wanted to offer. I wasl ike why did I just say that number!?!?!?! She looked at me and said, I asked God that whoever was to buy my house would be sent by him and they would offer the exact amount that you just did, so I know that God wants you to buy this house from me. Wow! I was blown away! So now, 5 years later, when I get discouraged about my house and how it's valued at half of what I bought it for, and I think of all the work it needs, I can recall that moment and know that I am blessed to have a house and that God had me there for that time, for this season and that my God is still alive, still working and He cares for me in all things!
I pray that everyone has a blessed day! Remember, you're not alone and God cares for all things that you are dealing with...big and small!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Everyone has a story...
His love is never ending...
I know I am called. I know I am chosen. I have been living for myself lately though, and over the past several weeks, God's been renewing a dream he gave me before. A calling that he entrusted to me. I had pushed it aside, stored it away, and focused solely on myself. I can see now that God is calling me to remember, calling me to move, calling me to act. Last night, I dreamed of God asking me to share...share somethings I've gone through, and to listen to others and be there for them.
This is a lost, aching, hurting world. All of us know that, and all of us have experienced these painful times. The difference is that with the Lord as our Rock, our Salvation, our Hope and our Deliverer...we make it through. Sometimes, it's hard to see or feel the Lord, sometimes the devil, the great deceiver and liar, fools us and tricks us, blinds us so entirely and so completely that we forget about the Lord and His promises. We forget all the times that he's been faithful to us, we can't recall His love, grace, and mercy. I've been there, and I'm sure most of us have been there.
Today, I wanted to share a bit of my story. Some of you may know it, some of you may know some of it, or you may not. The point is to let someone know...that you're not alone. The point is to remind you that God is right by your side and He's listening and He still cares. The point is to tell you...there is HOPE. This is my story ( at least some of it) and hopefully in the coming weeks...I can talk with some of you, share with some of you, pray with some of you...and my dream is to share all our stories, and ultimately inspire hope, love, peace and joy back to those who have lost it along their journey and to remind all of us that Jesus loves us and he hasn't forgotten about us! It's scary to put all this out there, to bear your soul to the entire internet, but I know that God is asking me to step out in faith, to proclaim His love and to hopefully be used to honor and glorify Him!
I had a great childhood. We didn't have a lot of money, but my mom gave her all to make sure that I had a wonderful childhood, and I knew that I was loved beyond measure! Due to some medical issues as a child, I was picked on and made fun of a lot, but usually that didn't matter because I knew that my mom loved me, and that Jesus loved me. I'm not sure where I lost that confidence, but it did become lost and didn't fully come back until about 2 years ago.
Depression, thoughts of suicide and many sleepless, tearful nights epitomized my life after high school. After high school, I started attending Victory church and became involved in Quest and attended many missions trips with the group. God used these times, this group and the leaders to help show me that I am worthy, I am loved, and I have a purpose. The process was often painful, often confusing and filled with doubt. The enemy knows where you are weak, knows where to attack you...and he had my number every time!
I can recall being on missions trips, and staying up at night to write a suicide note...and while looking into the vastness of the ocean, pondering if I walked into the ocean and drowned...would anyone care? My answer was a resounding "NO!" and moreover, everyone would be better off without me. Thank God that he instilled the fear of going to hell in me, because if he hadn't I'm pretty sure I would have taken my life during the most depressed times I faced. It seemed like the best thing to do for everyone ( and please listen to me...if you have ever considered suicide, or are contemplating it; know that you may think it's better for everyone, but it's not. It's easy for you, and it leaves a path of heartbreak, broken relationships, hurt loved ones, and makes things MUCH worse that you could ever imagine.) I remember one night taking many tylenol PM, praying to not awaken in the morning. Thank God he protected me, and allowed me to awake in the morning ( although, at the time I didn't thank Him.)
One of the worst things about all this, was I was a leader in my young adult group, and I felt like a failure because how could I have these feelings, these doubts, the desire to end my life...and still call myself a christian? I had it in my head that christians weren't allowed to doubt, they weren't allowed to stumble, not allowed to fall. I had taken God's grace out of my life. I had called Him not good enough, because I thought I was worthless. I thought that God had made a mistake in me. I didn't allow God to be God in my life. I looked to alcohol instead of to God. I looked to anything and everything instead of God. I made other things my gods.
I look back at how empty I was, how lonely, how unloved I felt. I remember writing letters to God, crying out that He deliver me, save me. I remember one night, how I asked God to show himself to me that night as I was lying in my bed. I opened my eyes and I saw an angel, with full wings, hovering over my bed, covering all of me. I felt so warm and safe in that moment. I felt God in that moment, telling me I wasn't alone, telling me He still loved me and still cared for me, even when I wasn't loving Him. I had been blaming Him, cursing Him, denying Him.
I thought I was hiding everything so well, but obviously I wasn't. Thank God for the people he placed in my life to speak life and love and healing to me. Pastor Glenn & Rhonda, Cheryl, Amy, Sarah, Gwen, Jason and Loanne, Johnny, Mike, Jillian, Cliff and many more really took the time to remind me about God's love. They really invested in me, didn't give up on me, and were used of the Lord to help pull me from my darkest place.
It's amazing how God kept using me in my darkest times. I felt like I could never be used of God, but He kept using me, kept telling me that I was worthy, and that He had dreams and plans for me. He had a calling on me, He had His hand on me.
I recall Pastor Glenn telling me the story of Gideon and how he was hiding in the wheat mill when the angel appeared to him and called him a mighty man of God and told him that the Lord was with him. He reminded me of David one minute praising God, and the next crying out to God for help and asking where was He? Many of my friends reminded me to let God be God and let His grace and love heal me. It wasn't until I fully surrendered to God that He could begin the healing process. I had to let God be God; instead of me, in my flawed, sinfulness, trying to fix myself.
I want to remind you that you're not alone, that you are loved, you have a purpose, and the God of all Heaven and earth is waiting for you to turn to Him, to surrender, to fall at His feet, to proclaim that He is our all in all.You can't "fix" yourself, you can't "make God love you more than He already does" I struggled for so long with this! I had to drown in His grace and His love. I had to let myself be loved of God. I had to lose myself, and then find myself again...in God's love and through His eyes. I had to look beyond my pain, my sadness, and see a world that needed His love, see that I could help tell them about His love. It's amazing how when we help others, love others, that it's often when we receive all that back, and it ends up helping us more, than those we thought we were helping.
The Lord gave me a verse in my darkest hours, in my deepest fears... *He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - II Cor. 12: 9 & 10
God healed me of my disbelief. He continued to use me and show me that I am loved, I am His, I am called. Do I still struggle, of course! But God's always at work in me. As Pastor Glenn often said, I'm God's messy masterpiece! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, don't be tricked, don't be fooled, and know you're a work in progress!
Be weak today, let your walls down, let your defenses fall. Break the barriers that hold you back from allowing God to fully embrace you and overwhelm you with His love. If you need to talk, I'm here, God's also listening, He's never more than a whisper away, a hearts cry away. Don't be afraid to let God love you, and to let others in!
If you have a story you'd like to share, if you want to get together for coffee and talk...whatever, let me know. This is the day that the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it. Let's live, laugh, love, cry, worship, celebrate, and share this life together! All for His kingdom and glory!
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