Friday, October 21, 2011
take me
Oh Lord, take me to that secret place, where I can be with you, you can make me like you! Wrap me in your arms! Sometimes everything seems so overwhelming Lord! My heart has been troubled and heavy these past few weeks Lord. I honestly can't see what the future holds. There's a lot riding on everything and I wish I knew what was going to happen, but this is where I have to rely on you, know that you have the world in the palm of you hands, know that whatever is ahead that you know about it, and you will take care of me, even if it's painful, even if it hurts now, I know I will learn something and come out of this stronger than before, and closer to you than before. I love you Lord, I love you so much. Thank you for all you are to me, for your love for me, for everything Father.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
A different kind of pain
(from my morning devotions)
5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Thank you Father God for coming to us, for reaching out to us, for loving us.
You are stretching me Lord. At times, I feel like I may break, I feel like it's all too much. I've been here before Lord, I think we all have, but at least for me, this time is different. I know that you have me in the palm of your hand Father God. I feel like this is truly being put through the refiners fire. This is the test that separates people who say they know you, and people who actually know you. This is where all the impurities are being burned away; where this is no room left to hide, everything is on the table with you. Will I trust you in the pain, the uncertainty, the hurt, the worry, the strife? At times I feel so lost and confused, and in those times one thing remains the same...YOU. You are always there for me Lord. I see this as a test, as a time to define myself in you. I won't give up Lord, and I'm clinging to you with all I am! In the past I would sit down and languish in this Lord, I would refuse to move and become so absorbed in myself and my problems. But again, this time is different Lord, I can see you taking things away, moving things, all to make a way for your grand plan. I asked for this Lord, and you are giving me what I asked for. I'm not sure I anticipated it being this painful, but You know best oh Lord, you are the one that I love and adore, and no matter what I face I know you are with me Lord and you will make a way.
As the above verses mention, everyday Lord, I'm learning what it means to remain on the vine, to seek you as my only means of survival. You are teaching me everyday, growing me to see what matters in this life. It's not money, cars, houses, clothes, vacations and etc, but rather it's people, your people, your beloved. The ones who are hurting, the ones that are lost. These are who your hearts break for, these are the ones that you want us to look beyond ourselves and see.
Please Lord, continue to make me stronger to face the challenges that are ahead. Please help me to find all I need in you and to only seek you for all I need. Continue to break me Lord, as painful as it is, and make me into what you have called me to be. Give me the mind to see this pain in light of eternity, to give up myself to you and to lose my life to you, for I know in that O Lord, I will find it again.
5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.
The World Hates the Disciples
18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20 Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’[b] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21 They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me. 22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. 23 Whoever hates me hates my Father as well. 24 If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25 But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’[c]The Work of the Holy Spirit
26 “When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father—the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father—he will testify about me. 27 And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Thank you Father God for coming to us, for reaching out to us, for loving us.
You are stretching me Lord. At times, I feel like I may break, I feel like it's all too much. I've been here before Lord, I think we all have, but at least for me, this time is different. I know that you have me in the palm of your hand Father God. I feel like this is truly being put through the refiners fire. This is the test that separates people who say they know you, and people who actually know you. This is where all the impurities are being burned away; where this is no room left to hide, everything is on the table with you. Will I trust you in the pain, the uncertainty, the hurt, the worry, the strife? At times I feel so lost and confused, and in those times one thing remains the same...YOU. You are always there for me Lord. I see this as a test, as a time to define myself in you. I won't give up Lord, and I'm clinging to you with all I am! In the past I would sit down and languish in this Lord, I would refuse to move and become so absorbed in myself and my problems. But again, this time is different Lord, I can see you taking things away, moving things, all to make a way for your grand plan. I asked for this Lord, and you are giving me what I asked for. I'm not sure I anticipated it being this painful, but You know best oh Lord, you are the one that I love and adore, and no matter what I face I know you are with me Lord and you will make a way.
As the above verses mention, everyday Lord, I'm learning what it means to remain on the vine, to seek you as my only means of survival. You are teaching me everyday, growing me to see what matters in this life. It's not money, cars, houses, clothes, vacations and etc, but rather it's people, your people, your beloved. The ones who are hurting, the ones that are lost. These are who your hearts break for, these are the ones that you want us to look beyond ourselves and see.
Please Lord, continue to make me stronger to face the challenges that are ahead. Please help me to find all I need in you and to only seek you for all I need. Continue to break me Lord, as painful as it is, and make me into what you have called me to be. Give me the mind to see this pain in light of eternity, to give up myself to you and to lose my life to you, for I know in that O Lord, I will find it again.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Understanding
It's funny, when I was a child, I thought that God was love. That's it. Nothing more. No more complications, no more add on's, just love. I also was more honest as a child. I loved and people loved me back. Not everyone was nice, and maybe I'd cry if they didn't like me, but I sure didn't dwell on it; in fact, usually the next day I'd be off playing with my friends and the deeds of the day before were far removed from my mind. I usually only remembered the good things of my childhood and days gone by. The bad things ( which seem significantly less that the good) didn't really stick the way the good ones did.
My mom apologizes to me all the time for something she did when I was little. I tell her over and over, I don't remember it, but what I do remember is being picked up from school one day, and instead of going the usual way home, we turned south and drove for about 2 1/2 hours. My questions of where are we going we met with, it's a surprise. When the car stopped, we were at Sanibel Island, and mom and dad let us run into the ocean in our school clothes as we squealed with delight to learn this was a vacation, and we'd be at the beach for several days! Moments like that are what I remember :)
I was encouraging a friend about his bible reading ( or lack thereof) and I could tell he felt slightly condemned. I received these words to encourage him and build him up. I told him that God wasn't mad, or upset, God wasn't angry about his lack of reading...God just missed him, and wanted that special time with him. It made me think that sometimes as a grown up, I tack on all these things to God now. I have to read my bible, I have to go to church, I have to do this and this. But, that's stuff that I put on it. That's how in my adulthood, I tack on all these things and I made God to be something that he's not. He doesn't change, he's never changed, I try to change him. I was reminded that God loves me. That's it. He loves me. He doesn't love me if and when I do this and this...he just loves me. And just like me as a child, remembering the good and fun times, When I repent, and run to my Father God, fall at His feet and drown in His ocean of grace time and time again, He doesn't see me running as the girl that did this sin and that sin, but rather, He looks at His beloved daughter coming to Him again and again! How amazing and refreshing to know this and to live in this!
During my morning bible reading time ( and I have ALWAYS struggled with this, but lately, it's been easier, and I want to do it) and I've been learning SO much. Things I've always heard a little about or knew a little about, are now brought into clear revelation, shining light on so much! Thank you God for deepening my wanting for you, for your words, for your knowledge, for your love letter and instructions to me.
Thank you God for being love, for never giving up on me, for always being there for me. Please Lord, continue to grow me, show me new things, help me to fall in love with you all over again, and to always remember your goodness, your faithfulness, and to remember who I am in YOU and in you alone! May I be like the child I once was, and throw off the hurtful things, the things that don't matter, and may I live in the simplicity of love and your holy love.
Your never too far, you've never done too much. God's waiting, He misses you. Go to Him, don't waste anymore time :)
My mom apologizes to me all the time for something she did when I was little. I tell her over and over, I don't remember it, but what I do remember is being picked up from school one day, and instead of going the usual way home, we turned south and drove for about 2 1/2 hours. My questions of where are we going we met with, it's a surprise. When the car stopped, we were at Sanibel Island, and mom and dad let us run into the ocean in our school clothes as we squealed with delight to learn this was a vacation, and we'd be at the beach for several days! Moments like that are what I remember :)
I was encouraging a friend about his bible reading ( or lack thereof) and I could tell he felt slightly condemned. I received these words to encourage him and build him up. I told him that God wasn't mad, or upset, God wasn't angry about his lack of reading...God just missed him, and wanted that special time with him. It made me think that sometimes as a grown up, I tack on all these things to God now. I have to read my bible, I have to go to church, I have to do this and this. But, that's stuff that I put on it. That's how in my adulthood, I tack on all these things and I made God to be something that he's not. He doesn't change, he's never changed, I try to change him. I was reminded that God loves me. That's it. He loves me. He doesn't love me if and when I do this and this...he just loves me. And just like me as a child, remembering the good and fun times, When I repent, and run to my Father God, fall at His feet and drown in His ocean of grace time and time again, He doesn't see me running as the girl that did this sin and that sin, but rather, He looks at His beloved daughter coming to Him again and again! How amazing and refreshing to know this and to live in this!
During my morning bible reading time ( and I have ALWAYS struggled with this, but lately, it's been easier, and I want to do it) and I've been learning SO much. Things I've always heard a little about or knew a little about, are now brought into clear revelation, shining light on so much! Thank you God for deepening my wanting for you, for your words, for your knowledge, for your love letter and instructions to me.
Thank you God for being love, for never giving up on me, for always being there for me. Please Lord, continue to grow me, show me new things, help me to fall in love with you all over again, and to always remember your goodness, your faithfulness, and to remember who I am in YOU and in you alone! May I be like the child I once was, and throw off the hurtful things, the things that don't matter, and may I live in the simplicity of love and your holy love.
Your never too far, you've never done too much. God's waiting, He misses you. Go to Him, don't waste anymore time :)
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