A different kind of pain

 (from my morning devotions)


⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
   ⁹ “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵ I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ¹⁶ You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. ¹⁷ This is my command: Love each other.

The World Hates the Disciples

    ¹⁸ “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. ¹⁹ If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. ²⁰ Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’^[b] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. ²¹ They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me. ²² If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. ²³ Whoever hates me hates my Father as well. ²⁴ If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. ²⁵ But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’^[c]

The Work of the Holy Spirit

    ²⁶ “When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father—the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father—he will testify about me. ²⁷ And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.


³³ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”


     Thank you Father God for coming to us, for reaching out to us, for loving us. 


     You are stretching me Lord. At times, I feel like I may break, I feel like it's all too much. I've been here before Lord, I think we all have, but at least for me, this time is different. I know that you have me in the palm of your hand Father God. I feel like this is truly being put through the refiners fire. This is the test that separates people who say they know you, and people who actually know you. This is where all the impurities are being burned away; where this is no room left to hide, everything is on the table with you. Will I trust you in the pain, the uncertainty, the hurt, the worry, the strife? At times I feel so lost and confused, and in those times one thing remains the same...YOU. You are always there for me Lord. I see this as a test, as a time to define myself in you. I won't give up Lord, and I'm clinging to you with all I am! In the past I would sit down and languish in this Lord, I would refuse to move and become so absorbed in myself and my problems. But again, this time is different Lord, I can see you taking things away, moving things, all to make a way for your grand plan. I asked for this Lord, and you are giving me what I asked for. I'm not sure I anticipated it being this painful, but You know best oh Lord, you are the one that I love and adore, and no matter what I face I know you are with me Lord and you will make a way.  


     As the above verses mention, everyday Lord, I'm learning what it means to remain on the vine, to seek you as my only means of survival. You are teaching me everyday, growing me to see what matters in this life. It's not money, cars, houses, clothes, vacations and etc, but rather it's people, your people, your beloved. The ones who are hurting, the ones that are lost. These are who your hearts break for, these are the ones that you want us to look beyond ourselves and see. 


     Please Lord, continue to make me stronger to face the challenges that are ahead. Please help me to find all I need in you and to only seek you for all I need. Continue to break me Lord, as painful as it is, and make me into what you have called me to be. Give me the mind to see this pain in light of eternity, to give up myself to you and to lose my life to you, for I know in that O Lord, I will find it again.